ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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