You really coming over, don't trick.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
