her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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