so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
