My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
