new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
