So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
