what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
