hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
they're like a gay fantastic four
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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