I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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