I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
