You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
