NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
