so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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