Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize