Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
