god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
