Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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