Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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