never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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