I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
