Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
