that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
