Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
