Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
