i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
