this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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