i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
