Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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