Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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