Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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