But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
