dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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