I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
