3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
