I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
