ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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