just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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