The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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