After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
