All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
