Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
PANTIES FOUND
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
