Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
