Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
