i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
4 words: hood of his car
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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