Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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