Your dad touched me again.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
