I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
