the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I can't put those talents on a resume
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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