I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
