Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sorry about my life...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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