I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
