Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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