Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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