i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
