i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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