I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
