Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
