When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize